I’m writing this because I’m TERRIBLE at saying no. Atrocious. I am a yes person. 100%. Through and through. Jack of all trades. Master of zilch. AND I LOVE TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. ‘NO’ isn’t in my vocabulary. Because I want to do it all.
It literally took my dad sitting me down and saying “Keziah, you can’t do it all. Not right now. You’re only human.” Here I was, sitting on the couch, absolutely exhausted in every way. Sleep-deprived. Trying to master everything perfectly constantly. I’d forgotten what it looked like to stop moving.
Saying no is like organizing a cluttered drawer (something I’m also horrible at). Your old dusty yeses pile on top of each other haphazardly, until some are so buried you forgot you even agreed to them.
So organize the sh*t out of that drawer. Discard that dollar store rusty car opener that legit doesn’t even work anymore.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it, guys. saying no is hard if you’re not the most confident human being.
SAYING NO IS AN ART.
So how do we simplify? Here are some tips that helped me:
- Live out of your planner. Label each task a,b, and c.. with a being the highest priority and c being the lowest.
- Think ‘is this task necessary’ or ‘does it bring me joy?’ if it’s no to both, then trash it.
- Don’t do things simply out of obligation or fear. This is hard for me since I’m such a people-pleaser naturally, but it’s something I’m really working on.
- Recognize that you can’t do it all right now. There’s a time and a season for everything. For example, I really want to write a book. But I also want to be a professional photographer, raise my twins, go to full-time school, and practice healing and self-care. I realized that I had to temporarily let go of writing a book right now, since I currently don’t have the mental capacity or time.
- It’s ok to put things on the back burner: Stick a reminder in your calendar for 3-6 months time in the future. Put it in your goals for 2018. Just because you’re not doing it right now, doesn’t mean you never will.
Part of the reason I’ve struggled so hard is because I value other people over myself. I inherently think they always know best. Sometimes this makes it hard to make decisions, and even harder to weed out lower priority promises.
But here I stand. Before you all. Shouting my truth into the echoing abyss of the vast inter webs. I RESOLVE TO SAY NO WHEN THE SITUATION DOES NOT SUIT ME.
My cousin Jordan took these shots (and I took hers). She’s incredibly talented and I’m so grateful to call her my sister/cousin.
A few thoughts that have been on my mind recently. I really want to work to reshape the narrative of what it means to be a woman. With the “me too” and “times up” movements, I think it’s time to speak out about sexual assault and harassment. Almost every woman I know has experienced some form of this (including myself), and it is NOT okay. We are not sexual objects. We have pulsing hearts and vast universes in our minds. We have opinions and thoughts. We cannot be sheared down to fit into traditional little boxes. We must raise our voices and speak our truth, even when it makes others uncomfortable.
It is not a woman’s role to be pretty, skinny, and agreeable. It is not a woman’s role to simply support a man. A woman’s role is leading a nation, or a household. It’s raising emotionally intelligent, secure children. Or having a successful career. A woman’s role is doing whatever the hell we want. It is saying what we believe without worrying if people will judge us for thinking differently. It’s dressing how we want, and embracing our bodies. It is not having sex when we don’t want to have sex.
I am a natural people-pleaser, and find it hard to be in any way confrontational. So writing my truth here is cathartic for me. I guess I just wanted to say this: I am done agreeing with men, simply to agree. I will demand respect. And I will raise my boys to respect women.
Hey guys! I have some pretty cool news. My article on ‘Baby-Led-Weaning’ was published on twiniversity.com. I’m pretty passionate about this method of feeding, so it’s so amazing to see it up there! I’ve also loved to write ever since I was a little girl, so it’s nice to use that skill to help out fellow twin mamas! Check out the article here:
Baby-Led Weaning for Multiples
Twiniversity is a great resource for parents of multiples. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve scanned that site for tips and shortcuts.
I also wanted to leave a review of a new product I’ve been trying out. It’s called the “Baby Cook Plus” by Beaba. A lot of parents have been using Beaba’s original “Baby Cook” for years. The reason I like the newer model is because it actually comes with two containers. Essentially, all you do is dump in a bunch of veggies, hit the steam button, and leave the room. VOILA! Badabingbadaboom. (I may be a little overexcited about this #mumwin)
In around 15 minutes, you have perfectly steamed veggies. It also has a blending feature. You twist the container to the side, and it blends it up to your liking. The clean-up factor is amazing too. I literally just rinse out the containers and put them on the drying rack. No chopping, scrubbing, or using a thousand pots and pans. I’ve included the link and some photos below:
Baby Cook Plus
I think it’s easy to get caught up with negative feelings today, as it’s certainly a divisive day. But let’s put negativity behind us and come together as Americans with hope and determination for a beautiful future. As some of you know, I immigrated to America as a twelve year old. I love America. I love the opportunity it brings. I love that we all have the freedom to speak our minds and have such diverse political, social, and economic philosophies. At the end of the day, we are not a nation of Republicans and Democrats, but a nation of Americans. I love and support all races and lifestyles, and hope that the progress continues to surge forward. #mytwocents
NOW… let’s turn our attention away from politics for a minute, and talk about this giveaway! I’ve partnered up with Jord Wood Watches to bring you a massive treat! The winner gets $75 shop credit, and all entrants receive $20 shop credit just for participating!!
(This post was sponsored by JORD wood watches)
Brown Formal Shoes / Jord Wood Watch / Cologne
Every year I am stumped by what to get Ty for Christmas. Aren’t guys so hard to shop for?! In an effort to help out all the ladies of the world, I’ve devised a Christmas list that is man-approved:
- Video games: My guy isn’t into video games, but I have a lot of friends that are.
- JORD wood watches: Ty just received his in the mail, and he’s obsessed with it. If you’re looking for a unique, one-of-a-kind gift for your man, the JORD wood watch is the one to get.
- Tickets to his favorite sporting activity: Membership to a local golf course, season football pass, skiing resort pass, etc. – these have been my go-to in the past, and they never disappoint.
- Something practical, like a new laptop: Make working from home more enjoyable for him, by replacing that dang ten year old computer on its last leg.
- New shoes: I feel like nine times out of ten, I get Ty the wrong pair of shoes, so I’m probably not gonna try this one again, but if your man trusts your taste then this is a good one for you!
- Portable battery pack for his phone: I don’t even need to explain why this is a good idea. Do I? Do I?!
- A new leather wallet: With the amount of times you’ve accidentally washed his wallet this year, you kinda owe it to him.
- Fancy shmancy headphones: ‘Beats by Dre’ is a good place to start, though I’m sure you can get a knockoff brand for cheaper. Test drive some at Best Buy.
- ‘Man Crates’: Google it. Ultra manly. Serious wife points.
- BBQ cookbook: Because what man doesn’t like a good grilled meat?
Aztec Blue & Mustard Onesies/ Tan Shoes/ Wooden Toys & Blocks/ White Sleeper Bassinet
I’m kind of obsessed with these Dockatots right now. They’re basically like a plush mattress for your baby. They fit inside the crib to help baby sleep better, or on the go, as they’re super easy to transport and they can nap at other people’s houses. While I absolutely adore mine, I suggest getting yours when your baby is a newborn, so you can use it for a real bassinet.
The onesies are from Finn + Emma. How cute are they?! As a mum of twins, I’m all about onesies. It’s so much easier to coordinate outfits when you don’t have to worry about picking out shirts, pants, and shoes.
Grey Sweat Shirts + Sweat Pants
I wish I would have known about them earlier. Back when I was insecure and felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Back when I tried my very hardest to conform to other’s ideals of what I should be.
Every second of the day I feel fulfilled. If I’m ever feeling low or insecure, all I need to do is look at their chubby, pink faces, and I’m filled with joy and a sense of purpose.
Sometimes, I feel as women we spend most of our lives questioning whether we’re enough. We have anxiety that we’re not good enough friends, that we don’t say the right things, or that perhaps people gossip about us behind our backs. I say to you all currently feeling this way: Look to your children. To them, you are enough.
Milk Bottle Hat & Blanket/ Striped Hat & Blanket
I love the transition from summer to fall. There’s always a beautiful melancholy feeling to it. The mornings are brisker, and everyone starts to feel anticipation for the coming holidays. To me, fall signals a realization that I need to buy a whole new closet for my boys. I honestly can’t believe they will be a whole year old by Christmas time. Words can’t describe how excited I am to spend this holiday with them. Christmas last year was very quiet. My sweet 5lb babes spent it in tiny glass cribs, struggling to do basic human things, such as breathe and keep up their heart rates. For me, the holiday was saturated in overwhelming emotions of every kind.
While I’m certain the feeling of fear will never completely subside, I’m excited for the joy of spending the holidays with those I love most, and seeing it through two perfect, innocent eyes for the first time.
Red Shoes/Black Armani Dress
I am excited to announce that I’m giving away this black Armani dress! It fits like an absolute glove, and I’m sort of obsessed with it. We have one in every size (never fear!) and I’m so excited for you to be as crazy with it as I am.
- Follow @dolcedesignerdiscounts on instagram
- Follow @jasperandarchie on instagram
- Follow @kezzieandco on instagram
- Tag a friend in the comments
(one friend = one entry, so tag as many as you like!)
A little about Dolce Designer Discounts: It’s owned and operated by my mum actually! She specializes in finding hand curated designer pieces, and selling them for a fraction of the original price. They are currently revamping their website, but still have their eBay store open.